This is what I would do if my baby was sleeping well and suddenly waking up every hour and feels like a newborn again
If you have a decent sleeper who would nap fine, fell asleep pretty easily and then woke up to feed few times a night and you actually felt rested and lucky !!
But then suddenly one day everything changed.
Your “decent” sleeper is now a terrible one who just hates bedtime and basically hates to sleep. And finally after they fall asleep, they are waking up every hour and you just don't know what the hell happened and feel it's worse than newborn?!
How do I know all of this?
Because I have had so many parents come to me lately sharing this exact situation and feeling so helpless. They know there are some regressions but they need to know what exactly should they be doing?
If you are in this situation doesn't matter what your little one's age is, here are some factors which could be contributing to this situation:
Developmental leaps - There are so many developmental leaps a baby is going through especially the first 2 years. If you're more curious about this, wonder weeks is a great resource. Whenever a baby is going through developmental leaps, their feeding, solids and sleep is affected in some way. They might suddenly act as if they don't need sleep at all lol or they just need so much more support to fall asleep.
Sickness and teething - It is obvious how teething and sickness can affect sleep and it can be so brutal but remember it's only for a short period of time.
Regressions - My mentor Lyndsey Hookway has a different approach and mindset to the so-called evil regressions. She says regressions happen when a baby is learning new skills - could be a fine motor skill or a gross motor skill or even oral skills or when their sleep architecture changes (around 4 months of age) and because it happens due to new skills, it should be rather called “progressions” and not regressions.
I get how regressions or progressions can be hard for parents. That's because it is. But remember it stays for few weeks and it's temporary. The first 18 months has so many regressions that you feel your baby's sleep is a roller coaster. We have one at 4 months, then 6 months then some have around 9 months and then 12 months and then 18 months. My god. Phew!
Separation anxiety - Around 6-8 months old, a baby starts to understand the concept of “object permanence” which basically means that object and people still exist even if they're out of sight but they don't know that these separations are temporary. So even when you visit bathroom, for them in their mind, you have abandoned them. The separation anxiety also peaks around the age of 12 months, 18 months and toddlerhood. My best advice for this is to play a lot of peek-a-boo. This game teaches them that just because they can't see their favorite person or object, it doesn't mean they have just gone. They will always come back. I also recommend my clients to leave the location because if they see you, they want you. And don't worry, I don't mean just leave for 2 hours. Start only for 5-10 minutes. Just go out of the house, take a small stroll. Meanwhile they will be with their caregivers. Even if they're crying they are with people who you can trust. The other caregivers need to sympathize with the child. They can tell “oh yes I know you're sad but mama will come back soon.” Slowly increase the timing. This has worked really great for so many of my clients. Another tip is include the partner in bedtime routine and your partner can sing or tell a story while you're feeding your child. Remember this is normal, it doesn't mean they don't love their other caregivers. Most children go through the phase and it's also very normal for them to feel this way towards one or more caregivers.
Any new change - could be change of location or a sudden absence of caregiver(s), starting daycare, arrival of a new sibling. These are situations which are mostly not in control of anyone and that's okay. Children are very sensitive to changes and even though they might seem their usual during the day, their sleep might get affected and the frequent waking up could just mean they need more co-regulation from you.
Now where do I come in all of this and can I even help ?
When parents come to me for consultation, the majority of age groups I have worked with is 3 months to 2 years. Which you can understand how much parents might be going through in between this phase.
There's so many developmental leaps, regressions, changes in their lives, developing separation anxiety etc that parents feel overwhelmed especially when they're also sleep deprived.
So here's what I have created :
A monthly membership subscription for parents who are going through multiple sleep issues with their little ones and they need support but they're not yet ready to invest their time, energy and money in 1:1 packages.
Introducing “Not a bad sleeper club”
A community of like-minded parents and me (a certified sleep coach) where they get access to bite sized videos on naps, bedtime, sleep strategies which works for different temperament babies and a place to ask their questions. We also have weekly calls where we meet and they ask me their question and I guide them just how I do with my 1:1 clients but at 22$ per month!! Cheaper than all the toys you buy for your baby who ends up playing with Tupperware boxes (lol been there!!)
Here you might be going through your little oen’s regressions, separation anxiety, or any life happening and you are tired of googling and getting 15 different answers and now you just want an expert to not only validate your feelings but finally give you holistic, evidence based strategies which works for you unique baby.
I understand your baby's temperament, your family values and then guide you 🤍
Here's some more information on the membership. We start exactly next week (7th July) and I'm so excited!
https://stan.store/snoozeandsuckle/p/join-my-membership-beta-version
If you have any questions, I'm just a DM away :)
See you soon!
Nupur